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Oh well, maybe next year

Tuesday, June 29th, 2004  by Bill Palmer

Hitting and running on this fine Tuesday morning...

They tried to warn us: First, Apple decided that it wouldn't be broadcasting yesterday's Keynote in its store theaters. Then, it even went so far as to nix the traditional live QuickTime video stream. Think the message could have been any clearer that Apple wasn't going to be unveiling any major new ready-to-ship products during the Keynote? About the only thing Apple didn't do was to post a note on its homepage reading "don't bother." And yet we held out hope right through to the very end, hoping that Apple's attempts to downplay the Keynote were actually some kind of strange plot to make Steve's big announcements even more shocking. As the Keynote wound down, someone even suggested the possibility that perhaps Steve's "one more thing" would be an announcement that tomorrow, he would come back and deliver a better Keynote. Oh well...they did try to warn us, right? Not that we'll ever listen.

That having been said... Despite the fact that much of the Keynote was of no immediate interest to consumers, and the fact that some of what was being talked about was stuff that we mere mortals didn't even understand, there was actually quite a bit to be inspired by. No, not necessarily from the Keynote itself, but perhaps more from the provocative slogans on the four banners hanging in the lobby. Because even as Apple announced that MacOS X Tiger is still about nine months away from being released, the company gave a sneak peek into the manner in which it presumably intends to market its new operating system. Because although a television ad proclaiming "Redmond, start your photocopiers" would merely leave most folks at home scratching their heads as to where or what "Redmond" might be, it doesn't take muck imagination to see how Apple might be planning to get its message out to the masses next time around.

After a few years of being softened up by everything from the feel-good Switch campaign, to iPod/iTunes for Windows, to word of mouth about iLife, to the virus- and security-inspired implosion of their own platform, Windows users are probably no more than a year away from finally being in a position where they'll be ready to listen to such straight talk from Apple about the Macintosh. If Apple had started jacking Windows users up against a wall a few years ago and begun demanding in no uncertain terms that they switch to the Mac, you'd merely have seen a lot of confused shrugs from people. But now (or according to Apple's apparent plans, beginning with the early 2005 release of Tiger), Windows users are finally ready to hear it. Those Mac users who have spent the past three years bemoaning the fact that Apple has yet to widely advertise the benefits of MacOS X over Windows, appear to be within nine months of finally getting their wish.

Not so rosy: I don't know what really went on between Apple and the makers of Konfabulator, but neither do you. It never ceases to amaze me just how many Mac users, in a desperate attempt to gain street credibility with (I don't even know who?), will jump on any chance to slam Apple and its every movement, without even having the slightest clue as to what the facts of a particular situation might be. I do know that yesterday, Apple announced a new feature called Dashboard that looks something like Konfabulator, and that a certain segment of Mac users were immediately lined up around the block to defend Konfabulator's Arlo Rose when he unleashed an anti-Apple tirade in the media yesterday afternoon.

But are any of these defenders aware that Konfabulator appears to have been built out of Apple's own desk accessories, which have been around for twenty years? And is anyone aware that the makers of Konfabulator were also the makers of Kaleidoscope, and that back during their Kaleidoscope days, they got into some kind of a legal tussle with Apple for purportedly lifting the Aqua interface and using it in Kaleidoscope? Nah, I bet they didn't know that.

Arlo Rose appears to be all kinds of upset that Apple didn't buy Konfabulator, hire him, buy his entire company, or something along those lines. But I'm just thinking that typically, companies don't like to partner up with other companies that they've had recent legal scrapes with. It just doesn't make a lot of sense, you know? And I'll say this: after looking at the "widgets" from either Apple or Konfabulator, you couldn't pay me to have either company's widgets on my desktop right now. They're both some of the ugliest, most space-wasting things I've ever seen. And I have yet to find a floating window, of any kind, that didn't hamper my productivity a whole lot more than it helped it (because you see, they're floating, which means they're blocking your access to what you're actually trying to work on, which means you have to keep moving the floating thingies around, which means they're a waste in any form I've ever used them so far).

Difference is, though, that while Apple is simply showing an early sketch of what its widgets might look like when they're finished nine months from now, Konfabulator is showing widgets that are supposedly already finished products. No way, not on my desktop. But in any case, it's not Konfabulator I have a problem with. It's the Mac users still anachronistically (look that one up in Sherlock's dictionary channel, kids) lined up around the block to pronounce their hate and disgust for Apple's every action. Dude, that's so 1996.

But mainly, I'll say this: it's really good to see that Arlo Rose has found work again, after seemingly falling off the face of the earth after his departure from Guns 'n Roses.

...oh wait, what's that, you say? That was Axl Rose? Yeah, nevermind.

Maybe there's an aluminum shortage? After seeing Apple's new 20 and 23 inch LCD displays, all I can think of is this: if that's all that Apple was going to do with them, why did it take them a full year to come up with displays that finally matched the G5 design motif? Were they held up by some kind of aluminum shortage, or something? Because the soda can I'm drinking out of right now, tells me no.

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